Humor: September 2017 - Worst of Fortunes Motd - Message of the Day
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Sep 20, 2017
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Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2017


There once was a gaucho named Bruno, Who said, "About sex,...
There once was a gaucho named Bruno, Who said, "About sex, well, I do know, Sheep are just fine, Chickens, divine, But iguanas are Numero Uno."

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young harlot from Kew Who filled her vagina with...
There was a young harlot from Kew Who filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin, "If they pay to get in, They'll pay to get out of it too."

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake,...
Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it. -- Peggy Joyce

Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.
Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.

As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns...
As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.

Auribus teneo lupum. [I hold a wolf by the ears.]
Auribus teneo lupum. [I hold a wolf by the ears.]

Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty...
Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell. -- St. Augustine

A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald...
A busy young lady named Gloria Was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier And then by six men, Sir Gerald again, And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.
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