Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday September 10, 2017

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was an old whore in the Azores Whose body was covered...
There was an old whore in the Azores Whose body was covered with festers & sores. Why the dogs in the street Wouldn't eat the green meat That hung in festoons from her drawers.

There's a charming young lady named Beaulieu Who's often been...
There's a charming young lady named Beaulieu Who's often been screwed by yours truly, But now--it's appallin'-- My balls always fall in! I fear that I've fucked her unduly.

Bubble Memory, n.: A derogatory term, usually referring...
Bubble Memory, n.: A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's intelligence. See also "vacuum tube".

Living here in Rio, I have lots of coffees to choose from...
Living here in Rio, I have lots of coffees to choose from. And when you're on the lam like me, you appreciate a good cup of coffee. -- "Great Train Robber" Ronald Biggs' coffee commercial