Humor: July 2018 - Worst of Fortunes Motd - Message of the Day
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Jul 22, 2018
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Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2018


There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.

There was a young monk in Siberia, Whose morals were very...
There was a young monk in Siberia, Whose morals were very inferior, He jumped on a nun Which he shouldn't have done, And now she's a Mother Superior.

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on...
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

MONTANA: A grizzly bear praying for the early arrival...
MONTANA: A grizzly bear praying for the early arrival of cable television.

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived...
A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived in Gomorrah; Wrapped in tissue and crepe, It was peeled, like a grape, And emitted a pale, greenish aura. -- Edward Gorey
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