Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of November, 2019

There once was a man from Bombay He would do it all night...
There once was a man from Bombay He would do it all night and all day He soon became sore You shoulda' heard him roar When his wife rubbed his balls with Ben-Gay!

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor,...
There once was a man with a hernia Who said to his doctor, "Gol dern ya, When you work on my middle Be sure you don't fiddle With things that do not concern ya."

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking...
A couple was fishing near Clombe When the maid began looking quite glum, And said, "Bother the fish! I'd rather coish!" Which they did -- which was why they had come.

A girl camper once had an affair With a fellow all covered with...
A girl camper once had an affair With a fellow all covered with hair. When she gave him his hat She realized that She'd been had by Smokey the Bear.

A girl of the Enterprise crew Refused every offer to screw...
A girl of the Enterprise crew Refused every offer to screw. But a Vulcan named Spock Crawled under her smock, And now she is eating for two.

A habit depraved and unsavory Held the bishop of Bingham...
A habit depraved and unsavory Held the bishop of Bingham in slavery Midst screeches and howls He deflowered young owls Which he kept in an underground aviary

A limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite...
A limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite economical. But the good ones I've seen So seldom are clean, And the clean ones so seldom are comical.