Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of August, 2019

There once was a man from Bombay He would do it all night...
There once was a man from Bombay He would do it all night and all day He soon became sore You shoulda' heard him roar When his wife rubbed his balls with Ben-Gay!

There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple...
There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented The apple fermented And made cider inside her inside.

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning...
Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

Pittsburgh Driver's Test (8) Pedestrians are (a)...
Pittsburgh Driver's Test (8) Pedestrians are (a) irrelevant. (b) communists. (c) a nuisance. (d) difficult to clean off the front grille. The correct answer is (a). Pedestrians are not in cars, so they are totally...

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen...
I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!! -- Zippy the Pinhead

The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen...
The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity. -- Harlan Ellison

A certain young man, it was noted, Went about in the heat...
A certain young man, it was noted, Went about in the heat thickly-coated; He said, "You may scoff, But I shan't take it off; Underneath I am horribly bloated." -- Edward Gorey

A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison And had an affair...
A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison And had an affair with a Saracen. She was not oversexed, Or jealous or vexed, She just wanted to make a comparison.