Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of February, 2020

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed...
From deep in the crypt at St. Giles Came a bellow that echoed for miles. Said the rector, "My gracious, Has Father Ignatius Forgotten the Bishop has piles!?"

There once was a guardsman from Buckingham Who said, "As...
There once was a guardsman from Buckingham Who said, "As for girls, I hate fucking 'em. But when I meet boys, God! how I enjoys Just licking their peckers and sucking 'em."

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by...
There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet." -- W.S. Gilbert

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.

A Frenchman who lived in Alsace Had sex with a virgin named...
A Frenchman who lived in Alsace Had sex with a virgin named Grace. When he popped her cherry, She made things hairy By bleeding all over his face.

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The goddam thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.