|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 254 of 2327|
I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people's
accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.
-- Chief Justice Earl Warren
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 255 of 2327|
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
-- Joe E. Lewis
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 256 of 2327|
I always will remember -- I was in no mood to trifle;
'Twas a year ago November -- I got down my trusty rifle
I went out to shoot some deer And went out to stalk my prey --
On a morning bright and clear. What a haul I made that day!
I went and shot the maximum I tied them to my bumper and
The game laws would allow: I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a cow. And a cow.
The Law was very firm, it People ask me how I do it
Took away my permit-- And I say, "There's nothin' to it!
The worst punishment I ever endured. You just stand there lookin' cute,
It turns out there was a reason: And when something moves, you shoot."
Cows were out of season, and And there's ten stuffed heads
One of the hunters wasn't insured. In my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a pure-bred gurnsey cow.
-- Tom Lehrer, "The Hunting Song"
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 257 of 2327|
I am a bookaholic. If you are a decent
person, you will not sell me another book.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 258 of 2327|
I am a computer.
I am dumber than any human and smarter than any administrator.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 259 of 2327|
I am a conscientious man, when I throw
rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
-- Ogden Nash, "Everybody's Mind to Me a Kingdom Is"
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 260 of 2327|
I am a deeply superficial person.
-- Andy Warhol
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 261 of 2327|
I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend
than be one.
-- Clarence Darrow
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 262 of 2327|
I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.
-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 263 of 2327|
I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented
limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.
-- Burt Lanier Safford III, "An Obscured Radiance"