Freebsd Murphys Law

Real programmers know it's not operations'
fault if their jobs go into "hogs".

Real programmers do not eat breakfast from the
vending machines.

Real programmers punch up their own programs.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Real programmers have read the standards manual
but won't admit it.

Real programmers don't advertise their hangovers.

Real programmers don't dress for success unless
they are trying to convince others that they are
going on interviews.

Real programmers do not practice four-syllable words before
walkthroughs.

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

Real programmers argue with the systems analyst as a
matter of principle.