Linux Medicing

I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.
                -- Chauncey Depew

I got the bill for my surgery.  Now I know what those doctors were
wearing masks for.
                -- James Boren

        "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
        "Did you ever see a doctor?"
        "No, just spots."

If a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better,
and (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can
convince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health.
                -- Sir Peter Medawar, "The Art of the Soluble"

        If I kiss you, that is an psychological interaction.
        On the other hand, if I hit you over the head with a brick,
that is also a psychological interaction.
        The difference is that one is friendly and the other is not
so friendly.
        The crucial point is if you can tell which is which.
                -- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"

If you look like your driver's license photo -- see a doctor.
If you look like your passport photo -- it's too late for a doctor.

It is very vulgar to talk like a dentist when one isn't a dentist.
It produces a false impression.
                -- Oscar Wilde.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy.  It's a question of finding
a sickness you like.
                -- Jackie Mason

It's not reality or how you perceive things that's important -- it's
what you're taking for it...

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he
knows what it is.