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Jun 16, 2024
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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only
amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...
the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.

Today's Fortunes

Jun 16, 2024

-- Gifts for Children -- This...
-- Gifts for Children -- This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months researching these kinds of things by watching Saturday- morning...

-- Gifts for Men -- Men are amused...
-- Gifts for Men -- Men are amused by almost any idiot thing -- that is why professional ice hockey is so popular -- so buying gifts for them is easy. But you should never buy them clothes. Men believe they already have all the clothes they will...

*** NEWSFLASH *** Russian tanks...
*** NEWSFLASH *** Russian tanks steamrolling through New Jersey!!!! Details at eleven!

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Chapter 1 The story so far: ...
Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

Daily Fortunes for Jun 16, 2024 (today)
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