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May 18, 2024
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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only
amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...
the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.




Today's Fortunes

May 18, 2024

A "practical joker" deserves applause for his...
A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality. Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. But staking him out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest. -- Lazarus Long

A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other...
A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other people's demands.

A bore is a man who talks so much about himself that you can't...
A bore is a man who talks so much about himself that you can't talk about yourself.

A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after...
A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.

A city is a large community where people are lonesome together ...
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together -- Herbert Prochnow

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