Welcome to Motd
Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies",
derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.
Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The
search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.
A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe
this incredible collection. Not only
amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp,
smart, taunting, witty, biting ...
the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer,
priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.
Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.
Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.
Today's FortunesJul 5, 2022
A blind rabbit was hopping through the woods, tripping over...
A blind rabbit was hopping through the woods, tripping over logs and crashing
into trees. At the same time, a blind snake was slithering through the same
forest, with identical results. They chanced to collide head-on in a clearing.
"Please excuse me, sir,...
A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's...
A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some
time, subsisting on scraps and occasional handouts from the bartender. One
evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through
the back door. Regrettably, only the his body...
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between...
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
-- Ben Franklin
A doctor was stranded with a lawyer in a leaky life raft...
A doctor was stranded with a lawyer in a leaky life raft in shark-infested
waters. The doctor tried to swim ashore but was eaten by the sharks. The
lawyer, however, swam safely past the bloodthirsty sharks. "Professional
courtesy," he explained.
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city...
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to
a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate
a shilling. "Only a shilling?" exclaimed the man. "Only a shilling to bury
an attorney? Here's...
Daily Fortunes for Jul 5, 2022 (today)