Linux Kids

May you have many handsome and obedient sons.

MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me.  I
remember we'd all get into the car -- I forget what kind it was -- and
drive and drive.

I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some bees there. The
smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we
played.  I remember a bigger, older guy whom we called "Dad."  We'd eat
some stuff or not and then I think we went home.

I guess some things never leave you.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

Microwaves frizz your heir.

My boy is a mean kid.  I came home the other day and saw him taping worms
to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.  Well,
only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with
a bulls-eye on the back.

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own."  One of them
said, "So will you."
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

My family history begins with me, but yours ends with you.
                -- Iphicrates

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
                -- Groucho Marx

My mother once said to me, "Elwood," (she always called me Elwood)
"Elwood, in this world you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant."
For years I tried smart.  I recommend pleasant.
                -- Elwood P. Dowde, "Harvey"

My mother wants grandchildren, so I said, "Mom, go for it!"
                -- Sue Murphy

My mother was a test tube; my father was a knife.
                -- Friday

My parents went to Niagara Falls and all I got was this crummy life.