Linux Drugs

The cost of living has just gone up another dollar a quart.
                -- W.C. Fields

The father, passing through his son's college town late one evening on a
business trip, thought he would pay his boy a suprise visit.  Arriving at the
lad's fraternity house, dad rapped loudly on the door.  After several minutes
of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window,
        "Whaddaya want?"
        "Does Ramsey Duncan live here?" asked the father.
        "Yeah," replied the voice.  "Dump him on the front porch."

The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to
change your name and start a new life in different city.
                -- Vance Bourjaily, "Esquire"

The search for the perfect martini is a fraud.  The perfect martini is
a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent trappings
of civilization.
                -- T.K.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer
them a drink.
                -- Fran Lebowitz, "Interview"

The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes
the worst cigars.
                -- H. L. Mencken

The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh
restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks,
dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress.  She
sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,
then galloped wriggling from the room followed by her distraught boyfriend.
A man seated on the other side of the room with a date of his own beckoned
to the waiter and said, "We'll have two of whatever she was drinking."

The water was not fit to drink.  To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey.
By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
                -- Winston Churchill

"The whole world is about three drinks behind."
                -- Humphrey Bogart

The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and
not the dog, is man's best friend.  Rover is taking a beating -- and he should.
                -- W.C. Fields