Linux Men Women

Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.

Being asked solicitously about the state of her health was becoming bothersome
to the pregnant woman at the cocktail party.  And yet another guest went over
and inquired, "Well, how are you feeling these days?"
        "Not too well," said the expectant mother.  "You know, I've missed
seven or eight periods now and it's beginning to worry me."

Being owned by someone used to be called slavery -- now it's called commitment.

Benny Hill:     Would you like a peanut?
Girl:           No, thank you, I don't want to be under obligation.
Benny Hill:     You won't be under obligation for a peanut.
                It's not as if it were a chocolate bar or something.

Bigamy is having one spouse too many.  Monogamy is the same.

Birds and bees have as much to do with the facts of life as black
nightgowns do with keeping warm.
                -- Hester Mundis, "Powermom"

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least
when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
                -- James Thurber

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
                -- Kin Hubbard

Brigands will demand your money or your life, but a woman will demand both.
                -- Samuel Butler

By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
                -- Socrates