Linux Men Women

        Joe sat as his dying wife's bedside.
        Her voice was little more than a whisper.
        "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
before I go.  I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles.  And it was I who
forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported
your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
        "That's all right, dearest, don't give it a second thought,"
whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."

Just as I cannot remember any time when I could not read and write, I cannot
remember any time when I did not exercise my imagination in daydreams about
women.
                -- George Bernard Shaw

Kath: Can he be present at the birth of his child?
Ed: It's all any reasonable child can expect if the dad is present
        at the conception.
                -- Joe Orton, "Entertaining Mr. Sloane"

Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you.
                -- Mae West

Keep women you cannot.  Marry them and they come to hate the way you walk
across the room; remain their lover, and they jilt you at the end of six
months.
                -- Moore

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
                -- Benjamin Franklin

Kissing your hand may make you feel very good, but a diamond and
sapphire bracelet lasts for ever.
                -- Anita Loos, "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"

Lady Nancy Astor:
        "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
Winston Churchill:
        "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Lank: Here we go.  We're about to set a new record.
Earl: (to the crowd) How about a date?
Lank: We've done it.  Earl has set a new record.  Turned down by
      20,000 women.
                -- Lank and Earl

Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can
be tolerated only in race horses and women.
                -- Lord Kalvin