Linux Science

The only person who always got his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.

The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the `social
sciences' is: some do, some don't.
                -- Ernest Rutherford

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite
of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
                -- Niels Bohr

The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated by the fact that, when
exposed to the same atmosphere, bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.

The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with.
Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using
other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern
countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so
far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill
and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons.  None of the animals turned into
oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.
                -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"

The purpose of Physics 7A is to make the engineers realize that they're
not perfect, and to make the rest of the people realize that they're not
engineers.

The rate at which a disease spreads through a corn field is a precise
measurement of the speed of blight.

The reason that every major university maintains a department of
mathematics is that it's cheaper than institutionalizing all those people.

The rule on staying alive as a forecaster is to give 'em a number or
give 'em a date, but never give 'em both at once.
                -- Jane Bryant Quinn

The Shuttle is now going five times the sound of speed.
                -- Dan Rather, first landing of Columbia