Linux Songs Poems

By the yard, life is hard.
By the inch, it's a cinch.

Calm down, it's only ones and zeroes,
Calm down, it's only bits and bytes,
Calm down, and speak to me in English,
Please realize that I'm not one of your computerites.

Cancel me not -- for what then shall remain?
Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes,
A root or two, a torus and a node:
The inverse of my verse, a null domain.
                -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
                -- Ogden Nash, "Reflections on Ice-Breaking"

Fortune updates the great quotes: #53.
        Candy is dandy; but liquor is quicker,
        and sex won't rot your teeth.

Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world.
                -- The Beach Boys

Cecil, you're my final hope
Of finding out the true Straight Dope
For I have been reading of Schrodinger's cat
But none of my cats are at all like that.
This unusual animal (so it is said)
Is simultaneously alive and dead!
What I don't understand is just why he
Can't be one or the other, unquestionably.
My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
In one I'm enlightened, in the other I ain't.
If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way
And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
Then I will *and* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo.
                -- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium
                   of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
But it's very funny -- did you ever try buying them without money?
                -- Ogden Nash

Charlie was a chemist,
But Charlie is no more.
For what he thought was H2O,
Was H2SO4.

Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
                -- Ogden Nash

Chivalry, Schmivalry!
        Roger the thief has a
        method he uses for
        sneaky attacks:
Folks who are reading are
        Characteristically
        Always Forgetting to
        Guard their own bac ...