Freebsd Fortunes

Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off

Never drink coke in a moving elevator.  The elevator's motion coupled
with the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations.  People tend to
change into lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually
fly in the window.  Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators
have windows.

Never eat more than you can lift.
                -- Miss Piggy

Never hit a man with glasses.  Hit him with a baseball bat.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education.

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
                -- Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to
make it complex and wonderful.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with
substance.
                -- Sam Brown, "The Washington Post", January 26, 1977

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.  There might be a
law against it by that time.