Linux Computers

Computers are useless.  They can only give you answers.
                -- Pablo Picasso

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in
the world that just don't add up.

Computers don't actually think.
        You just think they think.
                (We think.)

Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more
than the estimate the job will cost.

Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed
from one mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
                -- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"

Congratulations!  You are the one-millionth user to log into our system.
If there's anything special we can do for you, anything at all, don't
hesitate to ask!

        Cosmotronic Software Unlimited Inc. does not warrant that the
functions contained in the program will meet your requirements or that
the operation of the program will be uninterrupted or error-free.
        However, Cosmotronic Software Unlimited Inc. warrants the
diskette(s) on which the program is furnished to be of black color and
square shape under normal use for a period of ninety (90) days from the
date of purchase.
        NOTE: IN NO EVENT WILL COSMOTRONIC SOFTWARE UNLIMITED OR ITS
DISTRIBUTORS AND THEIR DEALERS BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING
ANY LOST PROFIT, LOST SAVINGS, LOST PATIENCE OR OTHER INCIDENTAL OR
CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
                -- Horstmann Software Design, the "ChiWriter" user manual

Couldn't we jury-rig the cat to act as an audio switch, and have it yell
at people to save their core images before logging them out?  I'm sure
the cattle prod would be effective in this regard.  In any case, a traverse
mounted iguana, while more perverted, gives better traction, not to mention
being easier to stake.

Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal -- if you are all thumbs.
                -- Glaser and Way

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.
                -- Tom Lehrer