Linux Computers

"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.

Vitamin C deficiency is apauling.

VMS Beer: Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top
and sipping.  However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or
contain extremely un-beer-like contents.

VMS is like a nightmare about RXS-11M.

VMS version 2.0 ==>

Von Neumann was the subject of many dotty professor stories.  Von Neumann
supposedly had the habit of simply writing answers to homework assignments on
the board (the method of solution being, of course, obvious) when he was asked
how to solve problems.  One time one of his students tried to get more helpful
information by asking if there was another way to solve the problem.  Von
Neumann looked blank for a moment, thought, and then answered, "Yes.".

<< WAIT >>

WARNING!!!
This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.

A special circuit in the machine called "critical detector" senses the
operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he/she is to use the
machine.  The "critical detector" then creates a malfunction proportional
to the desperation of the operator.  Threatening the machine with violence
only aggravates the situation.  Likewise, attempts to use another machine
may cause it to malfunction.  They belong to the same union.  Keep cool
and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work.

See also: flog(1), tm(1)

Wasn't there something about a PASCAL programmer knowing the value of
everything and the Wirth of nothing?

We all agree on the necessity of compromise.  We just can't agree on
when it's necessary to compromise.
        -- Larry Wall