Linux Computers

WARNING!!!
This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.

A special circuit in the machine called "critical detector" senses the
operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he/she is to use the
machine.  The "critical detector" then creates a malfunction proportional
to the desperation of the operator.  Threatening the machine with violence
only aggravates the situation.  Likewise, attempts to use another machine
may cause it to malfunction.  They belong to the same union.  Keep cool
and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work.

See also: flog(1), tm(1)

Wasn't there something about a PASCAL programmer knowing the value of
everything and the Wirth of nothing?

We all agree on the necessity of compromise.  We just can't agree on
when it's necessary to compromise.
        -- Larry Wall

We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge.
        -- John Naisbitt, Megatrends

We are experiencing system trouble -- do not adjust your terminal.

We are Microsoft.  Unix is irrelevant.  Openness is futile.  Prepare
to be assimilated.

We are not a clone.

"We are on the verge: Today our program proved Fermat's next-to-last theorem."
                -- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982

We are preparing to think about contemplating preliminary work on plans to
develop a schedule for producing the 10th Edition of the Unix Programmers
Manual.
                -- Andrew Hume

We can found no scientific discipline, nor a healthy profession on the
technical mistakes of the Department of Defense and IBM.
                -- Edsger Dijkstra