Linux Sports

The surest way to remain a winner is to win once, and then not play any more.

The University of California Bears announced the signing of Reggie
Philbin to a letter of intent to attend Cal next Fall.  Philbin is said
to make up for no talent by cheating well.  Says Philbin of his decision
to attend Cal, "I'm in it for the free ride."

The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable
that I assume it must be evil.
                -- Heywood Broun

The whole of life is futile unless you consider it as a sporting proposition.

There's a couple of million dollars worth of baseball talent on the loose,
ready for the big leagues, yet unsigned by any major league.  There are
pitchers who would win 20 games a season ... and outfielders [who] could
hit .350, infielders who could win recognition as stars, and there's at
least one catcher who at this writing is probably superior to Bill Dickey,
Josh Gibson.  Only one thing is keeping them out of the big leagues, the
pigmentation of their skin.  They happen to be colored.
                -- Shirley Povich, 1941

They also surf who only stand on waves.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit,
call it the target.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
                -- Finlay Peter Dunne, "Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

        Two brothers, Mort and Bill, like to sail.  While Bill has a great
deal of experience, he certainly isn't the rigger Mort is.

Two golfers were being held up as the twosome of women in front of them
whiffed shots, hunted for lost balls and stood over putts for what seemed
like hours.
        "I'll ask if we can play through," Bill said as he strode toward
the women.  Twenty yards from the green, however, he turned on his heel
and went back to where his companion was waiting.
        "Can't do it," he explained, sheepishly.  "One of them's my wife
and the other's my mistress!"
        "I'll ask," said Jim.  He started off, only to turn and come back
before reaching the green.
        "What's wrong?" Bill asked.
        "Small world, isn't it?"