Linux Work

(1) Office employees will daily sweep the floors, dust the
    furniture, shelves, and showcases.
(2) Each day fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks.
    Wash the windows once a week.
(3) Each clerk will bring a bucket of water and a scuttle of
    coal for the day's business.
(4) Make your pens carefully.  You may whittle nibs to your
    individual taste.
(5) This office will open at 7 a.m. and close at 8 p.m. except
    on the Sabbath, on which day we will remain closed.  Each
    employee is expected to spend the Sabbath by attending
    church and contributing liberally to the cause of the Lord.
        -- "Office Worker's Guide", New England Carriage
            Works, 1872

(6) Men employees will be given time off each week for courting
    purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly to church.
(7) After an employee has spent his thirteen hours of labor in the
    office, he should spend the remaining time reading the Bible
    and other good books.
(8) Every employee should lay aside from each pay packet a goodly
    sum of his earnings for his benefit during his declining years,
    so that he will not become a burden on society or his betters.
(9) Any employee who smokes Spanish cigars, uses alcoholic drink
    in any form, frequents pool tables and public halls, or gets
    shaved in a barber's shop, will give me good reason to suspect
    his worth, intentions, integrity and honesty.
(10)    The employee who has performed his labours faithfully and
    without a fault for five years, will be given an increase of
    five cents per day in his pay, providing profits from the
    business permit it.
        -- "Office Worker's Guide", New England Carriage Works, 1872

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and
ask for it back the when it begins to rain.
        -- Robert Frost

A boss with no humor is like a job that's no fun.

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well
as afterward.

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.
        -- Paul Valery

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.
        -- Milton Berle

A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
        -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love"

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the
seed from which other committees will bloom.
        -- Parkinson

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.
        -- R. Stallman