Linux Humorists

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity...
If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your
head... if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick...
                -- Steven Wright

Would you *really* want to get on a non-stop flight?
                -- George Carlin

You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?
                -- Steven Wright

        "You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon
airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in
deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me
when I was young!"
        "Why, what did she tell you?"
        "I don't know, I didn't listen."
                -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

You may already be a loser.
                -- Form letter received by Rodney Dangerfield.

You'd better beat it.  You can leave in a taxi.  If you can't get a taxi, you
can leave in a huff.  If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
                -- Groucho Marx

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
                -- Jim Samuels to a heckler

Ah, yes.  I remember my first beer.
                -- Steve Martin to a heckler

When your IQ rises to 28, sell.
                -- Professor Irwin Corey to a heckler