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Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who
can't talk for people who can't read.
                -- Frank Zappa

My father was a God-fearing man, but he never missed a copy of the
New York Times, either.
                -- E.B. White

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
                -- Sam Brown, "The Washington Post", January 26, 1977

                     *** NEWSFLASH ***

Russian tanks steamrolling through New Jersey!!!!  Details at eleven!

"No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in that kind of paper."
                -- Mike Royko on the Chicago Sun-Times after it was
                   taken over by Rupert Murdoch

Of what you see in books, believe 75%.  Of newspapers, believe 50%.  And of
TV news, believe 25% -- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.

                Once Again From the Top

Correction notice in the Miami Herald: "Last Sunday, The Herald erroneously
reported that original Dolphin Johnny Holmes had been an insurance salesman
in Raleigh, North Carolina, that he had won the New York lottery in 1982 and
lost the money in a land swindle, that he had been charged with vehicular
homicide, but acquitted because his mother said she drove the car, and that
he stated that the funniest thing he ever saw was Flipper spouting water on
George Wilson.  Each of these items was erroneous material published
inadvertently.  He was not an insurance salesman in Raleigh, did not win the
lottery, neither he nor his mother was charged or involved in any way with
vehicular homicide, and he made no comment about Flipper or George Wilson.
The Herald regrets the errors."
                -- "The Progressive", March, 1987

One of the signs of Napoleon's greatness is the fact that he once had a
publisher shot.
                -- Siegfried Unseld

People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better
press than people who are just funny and smart.
                -- Howard Simons, "The Washington Post"

Photographing a volcano is just about the most miserable thing you can do.
                -- Robert B. Goodman
        [Who has clearly never tried to use a PDP-10.  Ed.]