Linux Definitions: 201 of 1105 |
Committee Rules:
(1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
(2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this
stamps you as being wise.
(3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the
others.
(4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
(5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you
popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.
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Linux Definitions: 202 of 1105 |
Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen
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Linux Definitions: 203 of 1105 |
Commoner's three laws of ecology:
(1) No action is without side-effects.
(2) Nothing ever goes away.
(3) There is no free lunch.
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Linux Definitions: 204 of 1105 |
Complex system:
One with real problems and imaginary profits.
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Linux Definitions: 205 of 1105 |
Compliment, n.:
When you say something to another which everyone knows isn't true.
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Linux Definitions: 206 of 1105 |
compuberty, n:
The uncomfortable period of emotional and hormonal changes a
computer experiences when the operating system is upgraded and
a sun4 is put online sharing files.
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Linux Definitions: 207 of 1105 |
Computer science:
(1) A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the
precision of the former and the success of the latter.
(2) The protracted value analysis of algorithms.
(3) The costly enumeration of the obvious.
(4) The boring art of coping with a large number of trivialities.
(5) Tautology harnessed in the service of Man at the speed of light.
(6) The Post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.
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Linux Definitions: 208 of 1105 |
Computer, n.:
An electronic entity which performs sequences of useful steps in a
totally understandable, rigorously logical manner. If you believe
this, see me about a bridge I have for sale in Manhattan.
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Linux Definitions: 209 of 1105 |
Concept, n.:
Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than
$25,000.
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Linux Definitions: 210 of 1105 |
Conference, n.:
A special meeting in which the boss gathers subordinates to hear
what they have to say, so long as it doesn't conflict with what
he's already decided to do.
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