|Linux Science: 5 of 622|
(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.
|Linux Science: 6 of 622|
(1) Never draw what you can copy.
(2) Never copy what you can trace.
(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.
|Linux Science: 7 of 622|
(1) X=Y ; Given
(2) X^2=XY ; Multiply both sides by X
(3) X^2-Y^2=XY-Y^2 ; Subtract Y^2 from both sides
(4) (X+Y)(X-Y)=Y(X-Y) ; Factor
(5) X+Y=Y ; Cancel out (X-Y) term
(6) 2Y=Y ; Substitute X for Y, by equation 1
(7) 2=1 ; Divide both sides by Y
-- "Omni", proof that 2 equals 1
|Linux Science: 8 of 622|
1.79 x 10^12 furlongs per fortnight -- it's not just a good idea, it's
|Linux Science: 9 of 622|
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
|Linux Science: 10 of 622|
13. ... r-q1
|Linux Science: 11 of 622|
"355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation!"
|Linux Science: 12 of 622|
7,140 pounds on the Sun
97 pounds on Mercury or Mars
255 pounds on Earth
232 pounds on Venus or Uranus
43 pounds on the Moon
648 pounds on Jupiter
275 pounds on Saturn
303 pounds on Neptune
13 pounds on Pluto
-- How much Elvis Presley would weigh at various places
in the solar system.
|Linux Science: 13 of 622|
A bunch of Polish scientists decided to flee their repressive government by
hijacking an airliner and forcing the pilot to fly them to the West. They
drove to the airport, forced their way on board a large passenger jet, and
found there was no pilot on board. Terrified, they listened as the sirens
got louder. Finally, one of the scientists suggested that since he was an
experimentalist, he would try to fly the aircraft.
He sat down at the controls and tried to figure them out. The sirens
got louder and louder. Armed men surrounded the jet. The would be pilot's
friends cried out, "Please, please take off now!!! Hurry!!!"
The experimentalist calmly replied, "Have patience. I'm just a simple
pole in a complex plane."
|Linux Science: 14 of 622|
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.