Linux Ethnic

Detroit is Cleveland without the glitter.

Do Miami a favor.  When you leave, take someone with you.

Do you know Montana?

Do you know the difference between a yankee and a damyankee?

A yankee comes south to *visit*.

Eli and Bessie went to sleep.
In the middle of the night, Bessie nudged Eli.
        "Please be so kindly and close the window.  It's cold outside!"
Half asleep, Eli murmured,
        "Nu ... so if I'll close the window, will it be warm outside?"

Five people -- an Englishman, Russian, American, Frenchman and Irishman
were each asked to write a book on elephants.  Some amount of time later they
had all completed their respective books.  The Englishman's book was entitled
"The Elephant -- How to Collect Them", the Russian's "The Elephant -- Vol. I",
the American's "The Elephant -- How to Make Money from Them", the Frenchman's
"The Elephant -- Its Mating Habits" and the Irishman's "The Elephant and
Irish Political History".

For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say
"Canada".  Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.
                -- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to the U.S.

Fortune presents:
        USEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #1.

^Cu vi parolas angle?                   Do you speak English?
Mi ne komprenas.                        I don't understand.
Vi estas la sola esperantisto kiun mi   You're the only Esperanto speaker
        renkontas.                              I've met.
La ^ceko estas enpo^stigita.            The check is in the mail.
Oni ne povas, ^gin netrovi.             You can't miss it.
Mi nur rigardadas.                      I'm just looking around.
Nu, ^sajnis bona ideo.                  Well, it seemed like a good idea.

Fortune presents:
        USEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #2.

^Cu tiu loko estas okupita?             Is this seat taken?
^Cu vi ofte venas ^ci-tien?             Do you come here often?
^Cu mi povas havi via telelonnumeron?   May I have your phone number?
Mi estas komputilisto.                  I work with computers.
Mi legas multe da scienca fikcio.       I read a lot of science fiction.
^Cu necesas ke vi eliras?               Do you really have to be going?

Fortune presents:
        USEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #5.

Mi ^cevalovipus vin se mi havus         I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
        ^cevalon.
Vere vi ^sercas.                        You must be kidding.
Nu, parDOOOOOnu min!                    Well exCUUUUUSE me!
Kiu invitis vin?                        Who invited you?
Kion vi diris pri mia patrino?          What did you say about my mother?
Bu^so^stopu min per kulero.             Gag me with a spoon.