Linux Men Women

I am very fond of the company of ladies.  I like their beauty,
I like their delicacy, I like their vivacity, and I like their silence.
                -- Samuel Johnson

I began many years ago, as so many young men do, in searching for the
perfect woman.  I believed that if I looked long enough, and hard enough,
I would find her and then I would be secure for life.  Well, the years
and romances came and went, and I eventually ended up settling for someone
a lot less than my idea of perfection.  But one day, after many years
together, I lay there on our bed recovering from a slight illness.  My
wife was sitting on a chair next to the bed, humming softly and watching
the late afternoon sun filtering through the trees.  The only sounds to
be heard elsewhere were the clock ticking, the kettle downstairs starting
to boil, and an occasional schoolchild passing beneath our window.  And
as I looked up into my wife's now wrinkled face, but still warm and
twinkling eyes, I realized something about perfection...  It comes only
with time.
                -- James L. Collymore, "Perfect Woman"

I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he
has income and she is pattable.
                -- Ogden Nash

I can feel for her because, although I have never been an Alaskan prostitute
dancing on the bar in a spangled dress, I still get very bored with washing
and ironing and dishwashing and cooking day after relentless day.
                -- Betty MacDonald

I can't mate in captivity.
                -- Gloria Steinem, on why she has never married.

I come from a small town whose population never changed.  Each time a woman
got pregnant, someone left town.
                -- Michael Prichard

I do enjoy a good long walk -- especially when my wife takes one.

"I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I've got hundreds of
people waiting to abuse me."
                -- Bill Murray, "Ghostbusters"

I GUESS I'LL NEVER FORGET HER.  And maybe I don't want to.  Her spirit
was wild, like a wild monkey.  Her beauty was like a beautiful horse
being ridden by a wild monkey.  I forget her other qualities.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I have a hard time being attracted to anyone who can beat me up.
                -- John McGrath, Atlanta sportswriter, on women weightlifters.