Linux Kids

Kids have *never* taken guidance from their parents.  If you could
travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the
original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate
teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for
grubs and berries like dad primate.  Then you'd see the primate
teenager stomp up to his branch and slam the leaves.
                -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do"

Lies!  All lies!  You're all lying against my boys!
                -- Ma Barker

Life does not begin at the moment of conception or the moment of birth.
It begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.

Life is like a diaper -- short and loaded.

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children.
Life is the other way around.
                -- David Lodge, "The British Museum is Falling Down"

Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.
                -- Jules Feiffer

May you have many beautiful and obedient daughters.

May you have many handsome and obedient sons.

MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me.  I
remember we'd all get into the car -- I forget what kind it was -- and
drive and drive.

I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some bees there. The
smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we
played.  I remember a bigger, older guy whom we called "Dad."  We'd eat
some stuff or not and then I think we went home.

I guess some things never leave you.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.