Linux Definitions

Johnny Carson's Definition:
        The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs
        in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the
        taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.

Johnson's First Law:
        When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the
        most inconvenient possible time.

Johnson's law:
        Systems resemble the organizations that create them.

Jones' First Law:
        Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of
        endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an
        obstruction to its progress -- in direct proportion to the
        importance of their original contribution.

Jones' Motto:
        Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Jones' Second Law:
        The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone
        to blame it on.

Juall's Law on Nice Guys:
        Nice guys don't always finish last; sometimes they don't finish.
        Sometimes they don't even get a chance to start!

Justice, n.:
        A decision in your favor.

Kafka's Law:
        In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
                -- Franz Kafka, "RS's 1974 Expectation of Days"

Karlson's Theorem of Snack Food Packages:
        For all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING
        package of snack food.

Gibson the Cat's Corrolary:
        For all L, where L is a package of lunch meat, L is Gibson's package
        of lunch meat.