|Linux Medicing: 60 of 72|
The 80's -- when you can't tell hairstyles from chemotherapy.
|Linux Medicing: 61 of 72|
"... the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic ..."
-- Dave Barry
|Linux Medicing: 62 of 72|
"The molars, I'm sure, will be all right, the molars can take care of
themselves," the old man said, no longer to me. "But what will become
of the bicuspids?"
-- The Old Man and his Bridge
|Linux Medicing: 63 of 72|
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree
that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
|Linux Medicing: 64 of 72|
The real reason psychology is hard is that psychologists are trying to
do the impossible.
|Linux Medicing: 65 of 72|
The reason they're called wisdom teeth is that the experience makes you wise.
|Linux Medicing: 66 of 72|
The secret of healthy hitchhiking is to eat junk food.
|Linux Medicing: 67 of 72|
The trouble with heart disease is that the first symptom is often hard to
deal with: death.
-- Michael Phelps
|Linux Medicing: 68 of 72|
The Vet Who Surprised A Cow
In the course of his duties in August 1977, a Dutch veterinary
surgeon was required to treat an ailing cow. To investigate its internal
gases he inserted a tube into that end of the animal not capable of facial
expression and struck a match. The jet of flame set fire first to some
bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000.
The vet was later fined L140 for starting a fire in a manner surprising to
the magistrates. The cow escaped with shock.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
|Linux Medicing: 69 of 72|
We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official
name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu". You
may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another
setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that said "ELECTROCUTION".
Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a)
your teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing
process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple
of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your
mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that
would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the
police would find you.
You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
-- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"