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fortune: 7 - 16 of 202 from linux law
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May 26, 2019
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Fortune: 7 - 16 of 202 from Linux Law

Linux Law:  7 of 202

        A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did
for a living.  "Tim, you be first," she said.  "What does your mother do
all day?"
        Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
        "That's wonderful.  How about you, Amie?"
        Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a
mailman."
        "Thank you, Amie," said the teacher.  "What about your father, Billy?"
        Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a
whorehouse."
        The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.
Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell.  Billy's father
answered the door.  The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded
an explanation.
        Billy's father replied, "Well, I'm really an attorney.  But how do
you explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old child?"
 
Linux Law:  8 of 202

        A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked to add 2 and 2.
        The housewife replied, "Four!".
        The accountant said, "It's either 3 or 4.  Let me run those figures
through my spread sheet one more time."
        The lawyer pulled the drapes, dimmed the lights and asked in a
hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
 
Linux Law:  9 of 202

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
                -- Robert Frost
 
Linux Law:  10 of 202

        A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone.  After he had
made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he
would like on it.  "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the
lawyer.
        "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter.  "In this
state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave.  However,
I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer'', if that would be okay."
        "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.
        "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter.  "people will read it
and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
 
Linux Law:  11 of 202

A Los Angeles judge ruled that "a citizen may snore with immunity in
his own home, even though he may be in possession of unusual and
exceptional ability in that particular field."
 
Linux Law:  12 of 202

        A Los Angeles judge ruled that "a citizen may snore with immunity in
his own home, even though he may be in possession of unusual and exceptional
ability in that particular field."
 
Linux Law:  13 of 202

        A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,
"Do you serve lawyers here?".
        "Sure do," replied the bartender.
        "Good," said the man.  "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for
my 'gator."
 
Linux Law:  14 of 202

        A New York City judge ruled that if two women behind you at the
movies insist on discussing the probable outcome of the film, you have the
right to turn around and blow a Bronx cheer at them.
 
Linux Law:  15 of 202

A New York City ordinance prohibits the shooting of rabbits from the
rear of a Third Avenue street car -- if the car is in motion.
 
Linux Law:  16 of 202

A Riverside, California, health ordinance states that two persons may
not kiss each other without first wiping their lips with carbolized rosewater.
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