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Sep 23, 2018
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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only
amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...
the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.




Today's Fortunes

Sep 23, 2018

I guess I've been wrong all my life, but so have billions...
I guess I've been wrong all my life, but so have billions of other people... Certainty is just an emotion. -- Hal Clement

I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best...
I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later, we found out he was a bear. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I guess the Little League is even littler than we thought...
I guess the Little League is even littler than we thought. -- D. Cavett

I GUESS WE WERE ALL GUILTY, in a way. We shot him, we skinned...
I GUESS WE WERE ALL GUILTY, in a way. We shot him, we skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob." -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

I had a dream last night... I dreamt about 1976. I dreamt about...
I had a dream last night... I dreamt about 1976. I dreamt about a country with incurable brain damage... I even dreamt they gave it a heart transplant. Then I woke up and I knew it was only a nightmare... so I went back to sleep again. -- Ralph Steadman,...


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