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Jan 23, 2019
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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only
amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...
the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.




Today's Fortunes

Jan 23, 2019

When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found...
When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her -- but alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. -- Robert Schuman

When I'm good, I'm great; but when I'm bad, I'm better...
When I'm good, I'm great; but when I'm bad, I'm better. -- Mae West

When it comes to broken marriages most husbands will split...
When it comes to broken marriages most husbands will split the blame -- half his wife's fault, and half her mother's.

When Marriage is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
When Marriage is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.

When my freshman roommate at Cornell found out I was Jewish,...
When my freshman roommate at Cornell found out I was Jewish, she was, at her request, moved to a different room. She told me she didn't think she had ever seen a Jew before. My only response was to begin wearing a small Star of David on a chain around my neck. I had...


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