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Sep 22, 2018
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Fortune: 402 - 411 of 2171 from Freebsd Fortunes 6

Freebsd Fortunes 6:  402 of 2171

The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a
digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top
of a mountain or in the petals of a flower.  To think otherwise is to demean
the Buddha -- which is to demean oneself.
                -- Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  403 of 2171

The bugs you have to avoid are the ones that give the user not only
the inclination to get on a plane, but also the time.
                -- Kay Bostic
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  404 of 2171

The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest is held ever year at San Jose State
Univ.  by Professor Scott Rice.  It is held in memory of Edward George
Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), a rather prolific and popular (in his
time) novelist.  He is best known today for having written "The Last
Days of Pompeii."

Whenever Snoopy starts typing his novel from the top of his doghouse,
beginning "It was a dark and stormy night..." he is borrowing from Lord
Bulwer-Lytton.  This was the line that opened his novel, "Paul Clifford,"
written in 1830.  The full line reveals why it is so bad:

        It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents -- except
        at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of
        wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene
        lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty
        flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  405 of 2171

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better
people, and don't come in clearly enough.
                -- Bill Maher
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  406 of 2171

The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted
sullenly and, buffing her already impeccable nails -- not for the first
time since the journey begain -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve
into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent
with Basil.
                -- Winning sentence, 1983 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  407 of 2171

The carbonyl is polarized,
The delta end is plus.
The nucleophile will thus attack,
The carbon nucleus.
Addition makes an alcohol,
Of types there are but three.
It makes a bond, to correspond,
From C to shining C.
                -- Prof. Frank Westheimer, to "America the Beautiful"
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  408 of 2171

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.
                -- Herbert von Fritzlar
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  409 of 2171

The Celts invented two things, Whiskey and self-distruction.
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  410 of 2171

The chains of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, and
sometimes three.
                -- Alexandre Dumas
Freebsd Fortunes 6:  411 of 2171

The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to show up
at the steam fitters picnic.
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