Linux Ms Fortunes

Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were playing a friendly game of Frisbee at the Gates
estate on the shore of Lake Washington. At one point, Bill accidentally sends
the Frisbee over Steve's head, and the Frisbee lands in the lake. Steve walks
out onto the surface of the lake and retrieves the Frisbee.
The next day the newspapers report:
   Gates' Throw Exceeds Expectations
   Apple CEO Unable to Swim

Q: How do you fix all Windows bugs at once?
A: Type DELTREE C:WINDOWS

Q: What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft?
A: One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information
   and populated mostly by dinosaurs, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.

Q: What's the difference between Windows 95 and a highly destructive virus?
A: About 300 MB of hard disk space.

Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one
   to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried
   reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because
   the light bulb in our office works fine..."

Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision
   for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: How many Microsoft tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twelve. One to work the bulb, and eleven to write a 1,123 page guide to
   changing lightbulbs ("Learn Lightbulb Management in 21 Days").

Q: Why is Microsoft's Product Support a failure?
A: Because Microsoft needs a Support Group instead.

Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
A: Warning label.

Q: What do you call 50 Microsoft products in a trashcan?
A: A darned good start.