Linux Ms Fortunes

If Microsoft built cars, the Linux car owners would get expensive
Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much
slower.

If Microsoft built cars, the oil, gas, and alternator warning lights would
be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.

If Microsoft built cars, seats would force everyone to have the same size
butt.

If Microsoft built cars, the airbag system would say "are you sure?"
before going off.

If Microsoft built cars, If you were involved in a crash, you would have
no idea what happened.

If Microsoft built cars, you would have to press the "Start" button to turn
them off.

Microsoft's biggest and most dangerous  contribution to the software
industry may be the degree to which it has lowered user expectations.

Last night (9/30-10/1) at midnight, Mr. Bill's Browser 4.0 was released.
Late last night, between midnight and 1:30, somebody (MS? probably)
dumped a huge IE logo on Netscape's front lawn (a metal shell,
apparently, deep enough to stand up on its own). They probably expected
that we wouldn't notice until morning, and wouldn't be able to get
equipment to move it until 11:00 or so, and some press cameras would come
by in the meantime; we wouldn't be able to bring legal action, 'cause we
wouldn't have any proof, and we'd just look whiny.

Well. Needless to say, MS was dumb: they forgot that we're *here* at
midnight! Somebody spotted it, and, rather than waste effort trying to
get rid of the logo, they decided to slap MS in the face with it instead.
(Figuratively. :-) They gathered people to help, and they tipped over the
IE logo so that it was lying on its back, spraypainted "Netscape Now" on
the side facing the street...and then carried over our 7-foot-tall statue
of Mozilla (Netscape's Godzillaoid mascot) and stood it up on top of the
IE logo.

So now we have Mozilla standing on top of the defeated IE (with his thumb
up and a grin on his face), and people are wandering by and taking
pictures; it got covered in by local papers and TV, and I've been told
Reuters picked it up. Not the sort of thing we'd publicize on purpose,
'cause it is a little childish...but they started it! :-)
                     -- A Netscape employee

NT is secure....
 as long as you don't remove the shrink wrap.

Windows 98 recently won a price as best vacuum cleaner ever.
Comment from one of the testers: "Windows 98 sucks more than anything..."