Fortune: 103 - 112 of 147 from Linux Sports
|Linux Sports: 103 of 147|
Our [softball] team usually puts the other woman at second base, where the
maximum possible number of males can get there on short notice to help out
in case of emergency. As far as I can tell, our second basewoman is a pretty
good baseball player, better than I am, anyway, but there's no way to know
for sure because if the ball gets anywhere near her, a male comes barging
over from, say, right field, to deal with it. She's been on the team for
three seasons now, but the males still don't trust her. They know, deep in
their souls, that if she had to choose between catching a fly ball and saving
an infant's life, she probably would elect to save the infant's life, without
ever considering whether there were men on base.
-- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"
|Linux Sports: 104 of 147|
|Linux Sports: 105 of 147|
Pedro Guerrero was playing third base for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1984
when he made the comment that earns him a place in my Hall of Fame. Second
baseman Steve Sax was having trouble making his throws. Other players were
diving, screaming, signaling for a fair catch. At the same time, Guerrero,
at third, was making a few plays that weren't exactly soothing to manager
Tom Lasorda's stomach. Lasorda decided it was time for one of his famous
motivational meetings and zeroed in on Guerrero: "How can you play third
base like that? You've gotta be thinking about something besides baseball.
What is it?"
"I'm only thinking about two things," Guerrero said. "First, `I
hope they don't hit the ball to me.'" The players snickered, and even
Lasorda had to fight off a laugh. "Second, `I hope they don't hit the ball
-- Joe Garagiola, "It's Anybody's Ball Game"
|Linux Sports: 106 of 147|
Repel them. Repel them. Induce them to relinquish the spheroid.
-- Indiana University football cheer
|Linux Sports: 107 of 147|
Reporter: "What would you do if you found a million dollars?"
Yogi Berra: "If the guy was poor, I would give it back."
|Linux Sports: 108 of 147|
Rick: "How can you close me up? On what grounds?"
Renault: "I'm shocked! Shocked! To find that gambling is going on here."
Croupier (handing money to Renault): "Your winnings, sir."
Renault:"Oh. Thank you very much."
|Linux Sports: 109 of 147|
Rube Walker: "Hey, Yogi, what time is it?"
Yogi Berra: "You mean now?"
|Linux Sports: 110 of 147|
Ruth made a great mistake when he gave up pitching. Working once a week,
he might have lasted a long time and become a great star.
-- Tris Speaker, commenting on Babe Ruth's plan to change
from being a pitcher to an outfielder.
Cerf/Navasky, "The Experts Speak"
|Linux Sports: 111 of 147|
Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.
-- Heard on Noahs' ark
|Linux Sports: 112 of 147|
San Francisco has always been my favorite booing city. I don't mean the
people boo louder or longer, but there is a very special intimacy. When
they boo you, you know they mean *you*. Music, that's what it is to me.
One time in Kezar Stadium they gave me a standing boo.
-- George Halas, professional football coach