Fortune: 120 - 129 of 147 from Linux Sports
|Linux Sports: 120 of 147|
Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean
of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
"My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the
unbelieving dean. At this point, one of his players happened to enter
the dean's office. "Let me show you what I mean", said Sherrill, and he
told the player to run over to his office to see if he was in. "OK, Coach",
the player replied, and was off. "See what I mean?" Sherrill asked.
"Yeah", replied the dean. "He could have just picked up this phone and
called you from here."
|Linux Sports: 121 of 147|
That's the true harbinger of spring, not crocuses or swallows
returning to Capistrano, but the sound of a bat on a ball.
-- Bill Veeck
|Linux Sports: 122 of 147|
The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water. Eager to show off
this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next
hunting trip. Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell,
the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned
it to his master.
"Notice anything?" the owner asked eagerly.
"Yes," said his friend, "I see that fool dog of yours can't swim."
|Linux Sports: 123 of 147|
The Fastest Defeat In Chess
The big name for us in the world of chess is Gibaud, a French chess
In Paris during 1924 he was beaten after only four moves by a
Monsieur Lazard. Happily for posterity, the moves are recorded and so
chess enthusiasts may reconstruct this magnificent collapse in the comfort
of their own homes.
Lazard was black and Gibaud white:
1: P-Q4, Kt-KB3
2: Kt-Q2, P-K4
3: PxP, Kt-Kt5
4: P-K6, Kt-K6
White then resigns on realizing that a fifth move would involve
either a Q-KR5 check or the loss of his queen.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
|Linux Sports: 124 of 147|
The fellow sat down at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender if he
wanted to hear a dumb-jock joke.
"Hey, buddy," the bartender replied, "you see those two guys next to
you? They used to be with the Chicago Bears. The two dudes behind you made
the U.S. Olympic wrestling team. And for you information, I used to play
center at Notre Dame."
"Forget it," the customer said. "I don't want to explain it five
|Linux Sports: 125 of 147|
The most serious doubt that has been thrown on the authenticity of the
biblical miracles is the fact that most of the witnesses in regard to
them were fishermen.
-- Arthur Binstead
|Linux Sports: 126 of 147|
THE OLD POOL SHOOTER had won many a game in his life. But now it was time
to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the floor.
"Sorry," he said with a smile.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
|Linux Sports: 127 of 147|
The one sure way to make a lazy man look respectable is to put a fishing
rod in his hand.
|Linux Sports: 128 of 147|
The only real game in the world, I think, is baseball...
You've got to start way down, at the bottom, when you're six or seven years
old. You can't wait until you're fifteen or sixteen. You've got to let it
grow up with you, and if you're successful and you try hard enough, you're
bound to come out on top, just like these boys have come to the top now.
-- Babe Ruth, in his 1948 farewell speech at Yankee Stadium
|Linux Sports: 129 of 147|
The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter
swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the
batter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The
center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute his
eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.
-- Dizzy Dean