Linux Sports

Decisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really over-
whelming majority of the crowd present.  Abusive and obscene language may
not be used by contestants when addressing members of the judging panel,
or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing contestants
(unless struck by a boomerang).
                -- Mudgeeraba Creek Emu-Riding and Boomerang-Throwing Assoc.

Don't let go of what you've got hold of, until you have hold of something else.
                -- First Rule of Wing Walking

Easiest Color to Solve on a Rubik's Cube:       Black.

Simply remove all the little colored stickers on the cube, and each of
side of the cube will now be the original color of the plastic underneath
-- black.  According to the instructions, this means the puzzle is solved.
                -- Steve Rubenstein

Ever feel like life was a game and you had the wrong instruction book?

Ever feel like you're the head pin on life's bowling alley, and everyone's
rolling strikes?

Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
                -- Snoopy

Failed Attempts To Break Records
        In September 1978 Mr. Terry Gripton, of Stafford, failed to break
the world shouting record by two and a half decibels.  "I am not surprised
he failed," his wife said afterwards.  "He's really a very quiet man and
doesn't even shout at me."
        In August of the same year Mr. Paul Anthony failed to break the
record for continuous organ playing by 387 hours.
        His attempt at the Golden Fish Fry Restaurant in Manchester ended
after 36 hours 10 minutes, when he was accused of disturbing the peace.
"People complained I was too noisy," he said.
        In January 1976 Mr. Barry McQueen failed to walk backwards across
the Menai Bridge playing the bagpipes.  "It was raining heavily and my
drone got waterlogged," he said.
        A TV cameraman thwarted Mr. Bob Specas' attempt to topple 100,000
dominoes at the Manhattan Center, New York on 9 June 1978.  97,500 dominoes
had been set up when he dropped his press badge and set them off.
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

Flying is the second greatest feeling you can have.  The greatest feeling?
Landing...  Landing is the greatest feeling you can have.

Football builds self-discipline.  What else would induce a spectator to
sit out in the open in subfreezing weather?

Football combines the two worst features of American life.
It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
                -- George F. Will, "Men At Work:  The Craft of Baseball"