|Linux Sports: 78 of 147|
Keep grandma off the streets -- legalize bingo.
|Linux Sports: 79 of 147|
Keep in mind always the four constant Laws of Frisbee:
(1) The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc
straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this
force is technically termed "car suck").
(2) Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive
than "Watch this!"
(3) The probability of a Frisbee hitting something is directly
proportional to the cost of hitting it. For instance, a
Frisbee will always head directly towards a policeman or
a little old lady rather than the beat up Chevy.
(4) Your best throw happens when no one is watching; when the
cute girl you've been trying to impress is watching, the
Frisbee will invariably bounce out of your hand or hit you
in the head and knock you silly.
|Linux Sports: 80 of 147|
Life is a gamble at terrible odds, if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.
-- Tom Stoppard, "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead"
|Linux Sports: 81 of 147|
Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed.
|Linux Sports: 82 of 147|
Life is a game. In order to have a game, something has to be more
important than something else. If what already is, is more important
than what isn't, the game is over. So, life is a game in which what
isn't, is more important than what is. Let the good times roll.
-- Werner Erhard
|Linux Sports: 83 of 147|
Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
|Linux Sports: 84 of 147|
Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us
to pay income taxes, too?
-- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox
|Linux Sports: 85 of 147|
Love means nothing to a tennis player.
|Linux Sports: 86 of 147|
Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history,
dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man
picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and
whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire.
What inner force drove this first athlete? Your guess is as good as
mine. Better, probably, because you haven't had four beers.
-- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"
|Linux Sports: 87 of 147|
MARTA SAYS THE INTERESTING thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives
connected by a thin strand.
Come on, Marta, grow up.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.