Linux Sports

Life is a gamble at terrible odds, if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.
                -- Tom Stoppard, "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead"

Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed.

Life is a game.  In order to have a game, something has to be more
important than something else.  If what already is, is more important
than what isn't, the game is over.  So, life is a game in which what
isn't, is more important than what is.  Let the good times roll.
                -- Werner Erhard

Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game.  You want us
to pay income taxes, too?
                -- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox

Love means nothing to a tennis player.

Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history,
dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man
picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and
whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire.

What inner force drove this first athlete?  Your guess is as good as
mine.  Better, probably, because you haven't had four beers.
                -- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"

MARTA SAYS THE INTERESTING thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives
connected by a thin strand.

Come on, Marta, grow up.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

MARTA WAS WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME with me when she said, "You know most
of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its
territory from invasion by another group."

"Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh.  Girls are funny.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

        Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in the hills.
Said he, "I'm an anti-climb Max."
        [So is that punchline.]