Freebsd Fortunes 4

Hear about...
        the fellow who, upon being told by his shrewish wife that she
        would dance on his grave, promptly provided for a burial at sea?

Hear about...
        the female activist who went berserk during a demonstration and
        attacked a karate-trained cop with a deadly weapon.  She ended
        up a chopped libber?

Hear about...
        the guru who refused Novocain while having a tooth pulled because
        he wanted to transcend dental medication?

Hear about...
        the pessimistic historian whose latest book has chapter headings
        that read "World War One","World War Two" and "Watch This
        Space"?

Hear about...
        the wild office Christmas party in a completely automated
        company -- the photocopier got drunk and tried to undo the
        typewriter's ribbon?

Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus?
Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

Hear me, my chiefs, I am tired; my heart is sick and sad.
From where the sun now stands I Will Fight No More Forever.
                -- Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce

Heard that the next Space Shuttle is supposed to carry several
Guernsey cows?  It's gonna be the herd shot 'round the world.

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
                -- The Wizard of Oz

Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant,
on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.
                -- Dr. John Lightfoot,
                Vice-chancellor of Cambridge University