Freebsd Fortunes 4

High Priest:    Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
Bro. Maynard:   And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high
        saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
        smash our enemies to tiny bits."  And the Lord did grin, and the
        people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and
        breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
High Priest:    Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard:   And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take
        out the holy pin.  Then shalt thou count to three.  No more, no less.
        *Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the
        counting shall be three.  *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither
        count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three.  Five is
        RIGHT OUT.  Once the number three, being the third number be reached,
        then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being
        naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.  Amen.
All:    Amen.
                -- Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"

HIGH TECHNOLOGY:
        A California innovation composed
        of equal parts of silicon and marijuana.

Higher education helps your earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.

Hildebrant's Principle:
        If you don't know where you are going,
        any road will get you there.

Him:    "Your skin is so soft.  Are you a model?"
Her:    "No,"  [blush]  "I'm a cosmetologist."
Him:    "Really? That's incredible...
        It must be very tough to handle weightlessness."
                -- "The Jerk"

Hindsight is always 20:20.
                -- Billy Wilder

Hindsight is an exact science.

hippogriff, n:
        An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.
        The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half
        eagle.  The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter
        eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold.
        The study of zoology is full of surprises.

Hire the morally handicapped.

His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.
                -- Henry Fielding, "Tom Jones"