Freebsd Fortunes 6

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.
                -- Joey Adams, "Cindy and I"

The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national
conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the
participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national
organization.
        The stated goal of the conference was the formation of a national
organization that would "give expression to a shared consciousness."  The
orientation materials declared that this was "a historic moment" -- you
know, like Port Huron and the Sixties -- and the Rutgers host committee had
every reason to expect their goal would be accomplished.
        But it was not to be.  Given that this was a conference of *New*
New Leftists, reason had nothing to do with it.
        A revealing article by Vania del Borgo and Maria Margaronis in "The
Nation", ["Beyond the Fragments," 3/26/88] says "The defining moment of the
weekend came when the conference was almost at its end.  On Sunday morning,
a twenty-five-member students of color caucus confronted the assembled body
with its overwhelming whiteness..."  Joined by the Gay & Bisexual Caucus, the
Students of Color Caucus declared that the founding of such an overwhelmingly
white organization would itself constitute a racist act.  The four hundred or
so leftist activists were told that they had no right to ratify a constitution
or elect any officers.  While recognizing "the need to examine the real
possibilities of a broad-based, racially diverse student movement" and paying
lip service to the need for "dialogue," they threatened to walk out if their
demands were not met.  As *The Nation* article describes the scene:  "To their
astonishment, their intervention was greeted with a standing ovation." Handed
an ultimatum which demanded that they disband, this would-be successor to the
radical student movements of the Sixties promptly voted itself out of
existence.  As del Borgo and Margaronis put it, "After much chaotic discussion
and a confused voice vote, the convention suspended all its other work and
broke into regional groups to discuss 'outreach.'"
                -- Libertarian Agenda, May 1988

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she
served the family nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never
been found.
                -- Calvin Trillin

The most serious doubt that has been thrown on the authenticity of the
biblical miracles is the fact that most of the witnesses in regard to
them were fishermen.
                -- Arthur Binstead

The Most Unsuccessful Version Of The Bible
        The most exciting version of the Bible was printed in 1631 by Robert
Barker and Martin Lucas, the King's printers at London.  It contained
several mistakes, but one was inspired -- the word "not" was omitted from
the Seventh Commandment and enjoined its readers, on the highest authority,
to commit adultery.
        Fearing the popularity with which this might be received in remote
country districts, King Charles I called all 1,000 copies back in and fined
the printers L3,000.
                -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

The most winning woman I ever knew was hanged for poisoning three little
children for their insurance money.
                -- Sherlock Holmes

The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on.

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
        Moves on: nor all they Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
        Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

The myth of romantic love holds that once you've fallen in love with the
perfect partner, you're home free.  Unfortunately, falling out of love
seems to be just as involuntary as falling into it.

The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.
                -- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"