Linux Riddles

Q:      How do you keep a moron in suspense?

Q:      How do you know when you're in the <ethnic> section of Vermont?
A:      The maple sap buckets are hanging on utility poles.

Q:      How do you play religious roulette?
A:      You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets
        struck by lightning first.

Q:      How do you save a drowning lawyer?
A:      Throw him a rock.

Q:      How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A:      With a blue-elephant gun.

Q:      How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A:      Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with
        a blue-elephant gun.

Q:      How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A:      Take away his credit cards.

Q:      How does a hacker fix a function which
        doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A:      He changes the domain.

Q:      How does the Polish Constitution differ from the American?
A:      Under the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of
        speech, but under the United States constitution they are
        guaranteed freedom after speech.
                -- being told in Poland, 1987

Q:      How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A:      That's proprietary information.  Answer available from AT&T on payment
        of license fee (binary only).

Q:      How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:      Two.  One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
        done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.