Linux Computers

Real programmers don't comment their code.  It was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand.

Real programmers don't draw flowcharts.  Flowcharts are, after all, the
illiterate's form of documentation.  Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how
much good it did them.

Real Programmers don't eat quiche.  They eat Twinkies and Szechwan food.

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires
you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
spring up in the middle of the machine room.

Real programmers don't write in BASIC.  Actually, no programmers write in
BASIC after reaching puberty.

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.  FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and
crystallography weenies.  FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for programmers who can't
decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Real Programs don't use shared text.  Otherwise, how can they use functions
for scratch space after they are finished calling them?