Linux Drugs: 103 of 208 |
Look at it this way: Your wife's spending $280 a month on meditation lessons to
forget $26,000 of college education. And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?
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Linux Drugs: 104 of 208 |
Marvin the Nature Lover spied a grasshopper hopping along in the grass,
and in a mood for communing with nature, rare even among full-fledged
Nature Lovers, he spoke to the grasshopper, saying: "Hello, friend
grasshopper. Did you know they've named a drink after you?"
"Really?" replied the grasshopper, obviously pleased. "They've
named a drink Fred?"
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Linux Drugs: 105 of 208 |
"Mind if I smoke?"
"I don't care if you burst into flames and die!"
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Linux Drugs: 106 of 208 |
"Mind if I smoke?"
"Yes, I'd like to see that, does it come out of your ears or what?"
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Linux Drugs: 107 of 208 |
My mother drinks to forget she drinks.
-- Crazy Jimmy
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Linux Drugs: 108 of 208 |
My uncle was the town drunk -- and we lived in Chicago.
-- George Gobel
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Linux Drugs: 109 of 208 |
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
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Linux Drugs: 110 of 208 |
Never drink from your finger bowl -- it contains only water.
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Linux Drugs: 111 of 208 |
No, I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink, I get drunk, I fall down.
No problem!
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Linux Drugs: 112 of 208 |
[Norm comes in with an attractive woman.]
Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.
-- Cheers, Norman's Conquest
Coach: What's up, Normie?
Norm: The temperature under my collar, Coach.
-- Cheers, I'll Be Seeing You (Part 2)
Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm: Going down?
-- Cheers, Diane Meets Mom
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