Linux Drugs

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer
them a drink.
                -- Fran Lebowitz, "Interview"

The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes
the worst cigars.
                -- H. L. Mencken

The voluptuous blond was chatting with her handsome escort in a posh
restaurant when their waiter, stumbling as he brought their drinks,
dumped a martini on the rocks down the back of the blonde's dress.  She
sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,
then galloped wriggling from the room followed by her distraught boyfriend.
A man seated on the other side of the room with a date of his own beckoned
to the waiter and said, "We'll have two of whatever she was drinking."

The water was not fit to drink.  To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey.
By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
                -- Winston Churchill

"The whole world is about three drinks behind."
                -- Humphrey Bogart

The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and
not the dog, is man's best friend.  Rover is taking a beating -- and he should.
                -- W.C. Fields

There are more old drunkards than old doctors.

There are only two kinds of tequila.  Good and better.

There are two problems with a major hangover.  You feel
like you are going to die and you're afraid that you won't.

There be sober men a'plenty, and drunkards barely twenty; there are men
of over ninety who have never yet kissed a girl.  But give me the rambling
rover, from Orkney down to Dover, we will roam the whole world over, and
together we'll face the world.
                -- Andy Stewart, "After the Hush"