Linux Drugs

Toothpaste never hurts the taste of good scotch.

Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his
barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
        "One thing about Jim," the other said to the bartender, "he sure
knows when to stop."

Vermouth always makes me brilliant unless it makes me idiotic.
                -- E.F. Benson

We don't smoke and we don't chew, and we don't go with girls that do.
                -- Walter Summers

What scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?
                -- J.D. Farley

When all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank, advance
the spark 20 degrees, cry "God Save the Queen!", and pull the starter knob.
                -- MG "Series MGA" Workshop Manual

When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.
A loud general cheer went up.  After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
drink!"  The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.
        As soon as he had downed his second drink, the fellow hopped back
onto the stool.  "And when I pay," he bellowed, slapping five dollars onto
the bar, "*everybody* pays!"

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.  I
have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with
slightly over half that quantity of beer.
                -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"

When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.
                -- Al Capone

When the cup is full, carry it level.