|Linux Drugs: 186 of 208|
What scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?
-- J.D. Farley
|Linux Drugs: 187 of 208|
When all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank, advance
the spark 20 degrees, cry "God Save the Queen!", and pull the starter knob.
-- MG "Series MGA" Workshop Manual
|Linux Drugs: 188 of 208|
When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.
A loud general cheer went up. After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a
barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another
drink!" The announcement produced another cheer and another round of drinks.
As soon as he had downed his second drink, the fellow hopped back
onto the stool. "And when I pay," he bellowed, slapping five dollars onto
the bar, "*everybody* pays!"
|Linux Drugs: 189 of 208|
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I
have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with
slightly over half that quantity of beer.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
|Linux Drugs: 190 of 208|
When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.
-- Al Capone
|Linux Drugs: 191 of 208|
When the cup is full, carry it level.
|Linux Drugs: 192 of 208|
When the going gets tough, the tough go grab a beer.
|Linux Drugs: 193 of 208|
While riding in a train between London and Birmingham, a woman
inquired of Oscar Wilde, "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?"
Wilde gave her a sidelong glance and replied, "I don't mind if
you burn, madam."
|Linux Drugs: 194 of 208|
Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink?
|Linux Drugs: 195 of 208|
Why on earth do people buy old bottles of wine when they can get a
fresh one for a quarter of the price?