Linux Drugs

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
                -- George Gobel

If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire.

If God had intended Men to Smoke, He would have put Chimneys in their Heads.

If I knew what brand [of whiskey] he drinks, I would send a barrel or
so to my other generals.
                -- Abraham Lincoln, on General Grant

If people drank ink instead of Schlitz, they'd be better off.
                -- Edward E. Hippensteel

[What brand of ink?  Ed.]

If you don't drink it, someone else will.

If you drink, don't park.  Accidents make people.

In 1967, the Soviet Government minted a beautiful silver ruble with Lenin
in a very familiar pose -- arms raised above him, leading the country to
revolution.  But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from
behind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11:00, when the Vodka
shops opened, and was actually saying, "Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops.

It became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the
ruble and say, "Oh my goodness, Comrades, Lenin tells me we should go.

In a bottle, the neck is always at the top.

In a gathering of two or more people, when a lighted cigarette is
placed in an ashtray, the smoke will waft into the face of the non-smoker.